Identity

Our selves are made of fragments of our past, chunks of present and dreams of future. We cannot be defined by a certain period of our lives or history or a decade because a life lived without the memories of its past is half-baked. There has to be that sense of infinite past and future defining us which lends a deeper character to a human being. The great author Milan Kundera said in his book ‘Identity’ that remembering our past, carrying it around with us always, might be the necessary requirement for maintaining, as they say, the wholeness of the self. “To ensure that the self doesn’t shrink, to see that it holds on to its volume, memories have to be watered like potted flowers, and the watering calls for regular contact with the witnesses of the past, that is to say, with friends. They are our mirror; our memory; we ask nothing of them but that they polish the mirror from time to time so we can look at ourselves in it,” Kundera said.

Yet there is this constant struggle to get to our real selves, our distinct identities, which sets us apart from others, gives us a position in the world, makes us more comfortable with our inner selves, clears all confusion and calms our minds.  We often think of identity as a mirage, an inaccessible star, a far-out truth, a sort of journey across the vast salt desert to finally achieve a sense of deep fulfillment. I see this blurred sense of self in the people I meet everyday- the women travelling with me in Mumbai local trains, my friends falling in love for the wrong reasons, the bright young man getting into a silly job. Its the way people operate when they haven’t found their real selves. They tend to build permeable boundaries, limitations set by compromises and circumstances to give themselves a false sense of self. And therein lies all beginning of bitterness, resentment, hostility and ending of beauty, brightness, consciousness. To live with a right sense of identity is perhaps one of the most liberating feelings of life.

Meghna Maiti